Change Your Background

"No man is free who cannot command himself.

-Pythagoras

The summer of 2001 was a summer that I will always remember. It was great! We had lots of company that I completely enjoyed. The weather was hot. My kids seemed to grow about 5 inches, and the company that I had worked for, for the last 16 years was absolved and a new one created in which I became a managing partner.

At first I was excited about the change in employment, but as it started to become a reality and I was making major decisions, I suddenly realized that this was for real! I went from a small level of responsibility to a major level in 24 hours flat, and I became overwhelmed with the reality of it all. I started to lose sleep, I became a little edgy, and I don't think that I was all that much fun to be around.

One morning while I was out for my daily run I thought, "Hold on there, big fella", I said to myself, "You have no experience running a company like this, let alone have employees work for you. Why don't you admit it now and get out while you still can before it's too late." You know, I almost believed it. I came very close to deciding on stopping the process and going back to what I was doing before. I finished my run, sat at my desk, sweat pouring off of me and wrote the pros and cons of going ahead with this change. The more "pros" that I wrote, the more excited I became. As a matter of fact, I didn't even get to the "cons" side because I was too excited.

I sat then and wrote the answers to the following questions:
1. What is the problem?
2. What are the causes of this problem?
3. What are the possible solutions for me?
4. What is the best possible solution?

Sitting at my desk and going through that process was energizing me. I felt completely renewed! It dawned on me that I had reached a career goal that I had set for myself 10 years ago. I have had many goals in my career, and reached most of them, but this one was the "Mother of all goals". I guess that I was just a little too caught up in the busyness of life to realize what had happened.

I believe that what was making me nervous, was the fact that I was focusing too much on my background than on my future. My background was not in management or serious decision-making, but in going through life every day just doing the best that I could, and leaving the heavy decisions to someone else. I had doubts because I had never done this before. I think that I was comfortable in a rut that I didn't even know that I was in.

I see people every day who do just the same thing. They blame their lot in life on their backgrounds. They had an unpleasant childhood, or something happened along the way where they failed, and they decided that it was easier to not try at all than to fail. In effect what they were doing was believing that if nothing is ventured, nothing is gained and the status quo remains. It was easier to blame someone else, than to accept that something happened and move on. Never taking responsibility for who they are today, and what they can do to improve on that.

The realization that I came to is that you can change your background if you choose to! How you ask? Simply by focusing on what went right. Even in the greyness of your memories, there were some things that went right. The next way to change your background is to change your future! After all, tomorrow, when you look back on today, will become a part of your background. The decisions and actions and attitudes that you take and have today, will affect you tomorrow, and thus become a part of your background.

If you want to achieve more in your life, but are hampered by the thoughts and happenings of yesterdays gone past, change your background by changing your viewpoint. Focus on what is possible, not impossible. Focus on what you can do, not can't do. Focus on your strengths, not your weaknesses. Make an action plan to carry you through the process, get a mentor and if necessary ask someone for help.

When you ask someone for help, make sure that it is someone who will challenge you and who knows the road ahead. Too many people ask the wrong people for advice and never succeed. Sometimes they ask people who have never risked anything because they were afraid of failure or change. These people may be wonderful people, but in this case, they are not what you need. You need someone who will challenge you and encourage you and guide you along the way.

This week, as you are striving to become the you that you want to be, realize that you can become whatever you want if you will want what you will become. Do it with passion and energy, and you will achieve goals that you never before dreamed possible.

Be willing to take a risk. Afraid is good! Face the fear and do it in spite of it! That is what I am willing to do this week, what about you?

Paul

For 22 years, Paul Kearley has thrived in the personal development and coaching business. As a Master Coach for the past 10 years, Paul's passion is in developing and creating increased potential with both clients and other trainers. A columnist for two newspapers in Eastern Canada, and editor for his own weekly ezine, Paul writes articles that address the everyday challenges we all have and face in life and in business, and offers suggestions for success.