Home Add to Favorite Contact Submit  
             30 September, 2020

Category:  Articles » Self Improvement » Organizing


My Partner is a Clutter Bug, Help!

         Views: 1476
2007-10-20 15:25:57     
Article by Vicky White

Your partner's a clutterbug. He leaves towels on the floor just like your kids. The garage is one big jumble of tools and 'essential' bits of cars. He doesn't seem to be able to tidy up after himself and he seems to function in total chaos - well he thinks he is functioning.

And then your teenagers are even worse - their rooms - well, we won't mention those except to say it looks way better when their doors are closed.

It hardly seems worth starting to declutter when you live with such clutter bugs.

So how do you get other people to clean up their mess, especially now you've figured out the cost to your energy, prosperity and peace of mind of having all that stuff around you?

You don't!

Well, not directly anyway.

The first question I ask the many, many people who have asked me about this is:

Do YOU have any clutter?

Well, yes!

Just a bit!

So it's easy. Focus on YOUR clutter. That will keep you busy for quite some time. How about your closet, the kitchen, your computer and Inbox, your desk, bathroom cupboards, books and CDs, and your handbag.

That should keep you busy for a while?

And here's the secret: Talk about what you are doing.

Not in a 'trying to make a point' kind of way, but in a sharing what you're learning about yourself kind of way. How are you feeling and why are you going on a clutter busting blitz with your stuff? How do you feel afterwards? How are you going to celebrate what you achieve?

Share that with your partner and maybe even your kids. It's easier to inspire others with your example.

The reality is that you can't make anyone do something they don't want to do, and perhaps they are not ready to do what you are doing. Perhaps it's just perfect the way things are for them right now.

But what about you, having to live with their clutter?

Well, as I said earlier, until you've got rid of all yours you can hardly complain. And the reality is that as you declutter your stuff the energy in your environment will shift. Your energy will shift. And your partner's energy and teenager's energy will shift whether they like it or not - and for the better.

Some examples of what will probably happen:

No sooner did one of my clients set about clearing her own clutter, than her husband disappeared to tackle his basement office. And what's more, her teenage sons decided they were going to paint their bedrooms, which also involved decluttering.

Another client when I asked her what she would most like to declutter in her home told me: the garage. But her garage was full of her husband's stuff so I encouraged her to start somewhere else. She was participating in an integrity day where we go at it for about 4 hours, calling in each hour to give progress reports and receive support. No sooner did she start clearing some of her stuff than her husband decided he would join her - and he tackled the garage.

With another couple - the woman was at a place in her life where she wanted some growth and change so she decided to start decluttering to make space for the new. But her partner wasn't ready. So she drew a symbolic line down the middle of the bed and the middle of the bedroom and put some tape on the floor and wall to mark the two halves.

Then she decluttered her half. She cleaned out her closet and every day she made her half of the bed and tidied her half of the room. The other half stayed a mess with stuff everywhere, the bed unmade and socks and towels on the floor.

This went on for two years! Then her partner was ready for some changes of his own and joined her in tackling his physical environment - the two halves of the room were joined. (violins...)

Now, she had a lot of patience and usually it doesn't take that long. But this works. Has nagging ever worked? Has trying to change anyone ever worked? Has it helped your relationship? We all need to feel we have some control over our environment. If you have the luxury of extra space in your home, it's always a good idea for each person to have a space they can call their own. If not a whole room, part of a room. Each person having their own space means you each have freedom to have that be how you want.

And if you really think you have no physical clutter, how about mental, emotional or spiritual clutter? I'm not sure if Dalai Lama could say he has absolutely no clutter - so how about you?

Do you have any clutter?

©2007 Vicky White, All Rights Reserved

Vicky White is the go-to-gal when it comes to Feng Shui and the Law of Attraction. With her expertise and gentle nature, she helps women feel empowered and clear about what they're doing in their lives - even during difficult transition periods. Get her free report, "The 5 Biggest Attraction Mistakes: and How You Can Avoid them" and see what manifests in your life! http://www.LifeDesignStrategies.com

Specialized in: Mid Life Women - Vicky White - Feng Shui - Purpose - Purpose Of Life - Purpose Driven Life - Attraction - The Attraction Toolkit - Intention
URL: http://www.lifedesignstrategies.com
Print article      Bookmark this page
Related Articles 
How to Be More Organized and Less Stressed Out About Your Legal Issues and Needs: Preparing for 2011 (Popularity: ): What has changed in your life in the past year?The end of the year is a great time to reflect on how your life has changed and what adjustments need to be made to organize your legal portfolio. You may not be sure what changes you need to focus on and what, if any, adjustments need to be made, but if you do a little research and ask a few ...
How to Store Clothing - 8 Great Tips (Popularity: ): Can't seem to find that cute outfit you want to wear? Do your clothes have hanger lines? Are you running out of closet space? These tips will help you store your clothes more efficiently, keep them in tip top shape and save on closet space so you can buy more clothes!!Before Your Begin * Make sure that you have emptied your closet of all clothing that are torn, stained and ...
Messy Bedroom? Think It Clean (Popularity: ): I'll level with you-I am organizationally challenged. Enjoy my chaos, enjoy seeing stuff on the floor, actually relish searching for something and finding it under four papers.And my 10-year-old has picked up some of my bad habits.But over the holidays, we cleaned her room-a job we've been putting off for months. She did about 80 percent of it.I coached from the sidelines. It was then that I realized: a little ...
Identity Theft - How To Safeguard Yourself Against This Growing Menace (Popularity: ): Identity Theft is becoming a menace to society worldwide. It is costing countries billions of dollars every year. This is impersonation fraud and occurs when someone fakes your identity to perform a criminal act or fraud.There are several sources from which criminals and thieves can obtain your personal information such as theft of your wallet, handbag, credit card or even from your trash.Once they have successfully assumed your identity there ...
How to Use Lists to Organize Your Life (Popularity: ): Are you looking for ways to make your life run more smoothly? Making lists might be just what you are looking for since they help you focus on what needs to be done now and in the future. The following organizing tips are easy ways to incorporate the use of lists into your every day life.The practice of writing down the six most important things you need to do each ...

Related Business 
Kill Bed Bugs (Popularity: ): Supplier of a large line of safe, natural and organic bed bug treatment, prevention and elimination products for your home, commercial institution and personal use while traveling. Includes bed bug sprays, bed bug detection monitors, mattress covers, luggage encasements, bed bug repellent cream and more.
Bed Bug Finders, LLC. (Popularity: ): Bed Bug Finders, LLC is one of the leading New England and New York bed bug detection companies. Offering bed bug detection and safe effective heat treatment services for successful bed bug removal, they guarantee results. Our company has been written about in news outlets you trust, including The New York Times, the Stamford Advocate, and Brockton Mass News.
The Bed Bug Tracker (Popularity: ): The Bed Bug Tracker in Toronto uses trained and highly skilled canines to detect the precise location of bed bugs so that the bugs can be effectively eradicated. The Bed Bug Tracker is the first provider of these services in Canada, and the only one in Ontario to offer NESDCA-certified canines. The Bed Bug Tracker offers commercial and residential canine inspection, treatment of bed bug infestation, and confirmation of treatment ...
Bed Bug Dog Inspection Team (Popularity: ): We are a canine scent detection service that inspects property for bed bug infestations with the use of dog handling teams. Located in Chicago, we will make inspections. The bed bug is an extremely uncomforting pest that has made a comeback. Any bed bug pest abatement method begins by locating infested areas.
Bed Bug Controllers London (Popularity: ): Bed Bugs London are Market leaders in Bed bug removal and control. Bed Bugs London only use the latest techniques and procedures for bed bug detection and elimination and can have your Bedrooms free of bedbugs in the minimum of time with our single bed bug treatment program.
Horse and Mule information (Popularity: ): It's all about horses (and mules) at horsetrue.com. There are so many factors that go along with owning and caring for these animals, it can often times seem overwhelming. Let us simplify and sort out some of the clutter to make your experience as enjoyable and satisfying as it should be. We are committed to bringing you free, honest, tried and true information about our equine partner.
Toronto's Full Service Bed Bugs Exterminator (Popularity: ): Bed Bugs Toronto Exterminator. Got bed bugs in Toronto? We are Toronnto's premier bed bug exterminator. Servicing Toronto and surrounding areas. We offer bed bug preparation, bed bug extermination and bed bug laundry services. Bed bugs have made a comback in Toronto. Killing bed bugs in Toronto is all we do. Don't suffer with bed bugs any longer - call us for fast Toronto bed bug pest control.
Cimex K9 - Bed Bug Treatment & Bed Bug Detection Dogs (Popularity: ): Based in Phoenix and serving the entire state of Arizona, Cimex K9 specializes in Bed Bug treatment and inspections using highly trained and certified bed bug detection dogs. We are proud to say we are the only bed bug detection dog service in Arizona to be owned and operated by a third party certified detection dog trainer licensed by the Arizona Office of Pest Management.
The Best Indiana Bed Bug Inspections (Popularity: ): We are an Indiana bed bug detection agency that specializes in bed bug dog detection. Due to increased international travel and the bed bugs' increased resistance to many pesticides, there has been a recent resurgence of bed bugs in Indiana and across the nation. Increases in bed bug activity have been seen all over the US in the past decade.
Fast Bed Bug Pest Control Toronto (Popularity: ): Toronto's Premier Bed Bug Exterminator! Killing bed bugs is all we do and we do it right. Want to get rid of bed bugs in Toronto? Call us for full service bed bug extermination. Getting rid of bed bugs is possible if the correct steps are taken. Hiring a professional bed bug exterminator is an essential element that leads to success.