In the Pursuit of True Happiness - FamilyVision Column

Melda was a top executive in her company. She possessed power, prestige, and wealth. She was the center of attention. However, she hated her job; it was a struggle just to get up in the morning. In time, Melda grew cold and impersonal to others. As her career accomplishments blossomed, her personal relationship deteriorated. Melda was a bitter person. Many wondered if she would ever change.

The Quest

Are you a woman looking for something more out of life? Are you pursuing the right things in life? Are you really happy with yourself? If you are not satisfied, you should try something different. Life is more than dealing with trivial concerns. You deserve a better quality of your life. However, you need to change your direction. This spiritual quest is not about fulfilling a selfish desire. It is about finding the secret to your true happiness.

First, happiness is about the right perspective. Les Brown, author of How to Become the Person You Always Wanted to Be-No Matter What the Obstacles, argues, “Your values are not set by the government or church leaders. Your values give you consistency in the way you approach life…By holding to your beliefs, you can always stay on track toward your dream.” Many people get sidetracked by the wrong priorities. Obviously, the media continues to bombard us with these wrong messages: “If I have money or power, I will be happy.”

Unfortunately, some people chase valueless goals in hopes of achieving happiness. The path often leads to unhappiness. According to a Yankelovich Monitor study in 1997, only 25% of adults said “a lot of money” signified success and accomplishment (down from 35% from previous year). Many people are succeeding in the corporate world while failing miserably at life. Why are people chasing empty dreams? Finding happiness is linked to personal fulfillment and meaning. Therefore, any pursuit of happiness without a deep understanding of yourself will be empty.

The In Depth Search

Finding happiness continues to be one of mankind’s greatest mysteries. More than 3,000 years ago, King Solomon conducted one of the most intensive studies in human existence. He had wisdom, wealth, and personal achievement. His prestige was known throughout the world. King Solomon had 700 wives and 300 concubines to serve him. Solomon had it all. However, this self –gratification was the major factor in Solomon’s downfall. In his old age, Solomon attempted to find the significance of life. The more he dealt with this matter, the more bitter and pessimistic he became. He remained empty. In the end, Solomon realized none of these things would last. He writes, “nothing makes sense! Everything is nonsense….People come, and people go, but still the world never changes.” And so it is today, the wrong search in life will lead you to nothingness.

Below are some suggestions for pursuing true happiness:


Write down the top five priorities in your life.
Write down the ten things that you enjoy doing.
If money wasn’t an issue, determine how your life would change.
Develop five goals for the year that are simple and achievable.
Keep a journal to capture your thoughts.
Get rid of negative people in your life.
Develop a positive support network.
Grow your spirituality daily.

The Right Direction

In the pursuit of happiness, individuals need to understand what they want from life. Napoleon Hill, author of Think and Grow Rich, outlined the six keys to success. These critical things are (a) peace of mind, (b) health and energy, (c) loving relationship, (d) financial freedom, (e) worthy goals and ideals, and (f) personal fulfillment. Regrettably, some individuals are unwilling to pursue their happiness because of personal risk. However, more valuable things in life require some personal sacrifice. Clearly, to not run in this race of life is a calculated error. Goal-oriented individuals want quality and meaningful living. To have a good life, focus more on content. Don’t be guilty of running this race in the wrong direction. Start today!

Daryl and Estraletta Green provide personal advice all around the country. They are the author of several books, including My Cup Runneth Over: Setting Goals for Single Parents and Working Couples. They have been noted and quoted in such media organizations such as USA Today and AP. The Green’s nationally syndicated column, FamilyVision, reached 200 newspapers and over 12 million readers.