Home Add to Favorite Contact Submit  
             08 August, 2022

Category:  Articles » Self Improvement » Grief-Loss


What is Grief Counseling

         Views: 1627
2009-04-08 08:16:08     
Article by Maurice Turmel PhD

When I was in private practice I saw a lot of individuals who were grieving the loss of a loved one, whether that was a child, a spouse, a parent or a close friend. On a few occasions I saw couples where one of them had been diagnosed with a terminal condition and had less than 6 months to live. These situations were particularly traumatic for the persons involved, especially for the spouse who was not ill.

With these couples, we would discuss what was happening and how each of them was dealing with their feelings. The diagnosed partner seemed to have the easier time, having accepted their illness and the eventual fatal consequence. I saw this in my own family with my now departed brother-in-law and my sister. It was always the surviving partner who had the most difficulty.

With counselling of any sort, the goal is to LISTEN! Not just the hear the words an individual was speaking, but to identify the Feelings behind them. When I would reflecte back to the individual I always began with "sounds like you're feeling - sad, angry, scared, anxious, depressed - whatever it was they were conveying. I would then ask them to check "in" to see if what I said was accurate. It usually was.

Then I would instruct them to pay attention to that particular feeling and tell me more about it. They would then describe their feelings in detail along with whatever physical reactions might be attached to it. Tears would begin to flow as they related the physical and emotional reactions they were experiencing.
his was the essence of my counselling approach for persons in grief, no matter what the precipitating circumstances. Sometimes they would want to know about "Stages" and other catch phrases associated with grief and loss, and I would just steer them back to their feelings. Once they realized that this was more important, it became easier for them to go there themselves and accept that crying and sharing were in their best interest.

For some individuals it would take a few sessions to get them acquainted with this feeling approach, but eventually they got it. And working with their feelings through their period of grief became OK. Many of these individuals would later report that keeping in touch with their feelings had many advantages and helped them with other aspects of their life. Lesson learned! Being in touch with your feelings is essential to a healthy life.

Our society is geared toward Externals, like stages, graphs, charts, outlines and theories. Good counselling focuses on Internals - feelings, emotions and physical reactions. In other words, counselling focuses on "The Heart" where we feel our life and where emotional healing takes place. Once an individual is properly focused they can take it from there. A few tools like Journaling, Writing Letters to your lost loved one, listening to favourite music and poetry will put you in touch with Your Heart. You can now heal because you are listening to YOUR HEART!

"How to Cope with Grief and Loss" is a counselling companion designed to put you in touch with your feelings. Since the experience of grief and bereavement is so intense, you're almost already there. Just a little push and the right resource book and you're on your way. For most of us, all we need is Permission to Feel. Our heart and soul will take it from there because we have engaged the body and heart's own innate healing process.

Trying to apply Externals to an internal problem is futile. It only serves to distract us from the real issue which our feelings will gladly tell us about. Thankfully, counselling and audio ebooks like How to Cope with Grief and Loss will re-acquaint you with your feeling nature and guide you through the process of grief recovery.

You now have what you need to heal your grief. You will recover from this tragedy and great loss. You will become intimately acquainted with your Heart and Feeling Centre. You will come to a point where you can think about your loved one and smile. Because when the hurt is finally healed, what remains with you forever is the love you carry in your heart. To quote Martha Stewart "And that's a good thing."

Specialized in: Counseling For Grief - Grief Counselor - Grieving Process - Bereavement - Counseling Grief - Grief Recovery Help - Grief Recovery Ebook
URL: http://www.howtocopewithgriefandloss.com
Print article      Bookmark this page
Related Articles 
Artificial Intelligence - Emulation of Emotion and Empathy (Popularity: ): One of the most important goals for artificial intelligence software programmers is to foster companionship between computers and humans. To do this the AI computers must appear to care and interact like humans do with one another. Emulating emotion and empathy is on its way right now.Currently, most consultants of artificial intelligent customer response systems for 'call centers' advise that the voice on the other end if coming from a ...
How to Remember Those Who Have Passed Away and Celebrate the Forgotten Heroes (Popularity: ): When my husband passed away, my in-laws decided not to have anything to do with me. I was left to cope with my sorrow and sadness as well as the fact that my in-laws buried my husband without my knowledge and only reluctantly let me know where they had actually scattered his ashes.If in your situation, your nearest family members do not help or support you, then it is time ...
Death - The Ultimate Fear (Popularity: ): The ultimate fear we have as human beings is death. We all know it is the inevitable, unavoidable end of our life and yet it is the basis of all our fears. Yet maybe some things in life are worse than our personal death. Losing someone else we love through death may be worse. Being injured and living with pain and disability may be worse. Being publicly exposed to some ...
Widowed Persons And Some Stigma They Suffer (Popularity: ): When I became a widow, I thought I had the grieving thing already whipped. We both knew my husband was dieing and would not be around for long once he was put into the Hospice Program. He had been hospitalized 12 different times during his 8 years on oxygen. His lung disease, diabetes and heart disease all had an equal chance of taking him away. We had talks about how ...
Gerald Ford and James Brown: We Hardly Knew Ye (Popularity: ): I find it fascinating that our nation is mourning two famous individuals whom hardly anybody knew. People all across America are talking about President Ford and James Brown in glowing and endearing terms, almost as if the two of them had been our next-door neighbors. Only they weren’t, but it doesn’t seem to matter. We mourn their deaths because both of them were important to us as a nation. President ...

Related Business 
Share Grief (Popularity: ): For people mourning the loss of a loved one. Online grief counseling can help people get through this difficult time from the comfort and privacy of their own home.
Southwestern College (Popularity: ): Located in Santa Fe, offers MA on counseling and art therapy and certification in grief counseling.
San Diego Counseling & Therapy (Popularity: ): Counseling for individuals, couples & groups including marriage and family therapy in San Diego. Also, counseling for depression, eating disorders, grief, infertility, addictions and relationship help.
Aletheia Counseling (Popularity: ): Located in Goldenrod, Florida, a counseling resource dedicated to providing emotionally sensitive and spiritual grief and bereavement care for individuals and families through a distinct Biblical worldview.
Santa Cruz Family Therapy (Popularity: ): Carol C. Bass LMFT provides Psychotherapy and Counseling for Individuals, Couples, Families and Groups in her Santa Cruz and Los Gatos offices for Eating Disorders, Substance Abuse, Anxiety, Depression, Grief and Loss, Marriage Couples Counseling, and Premarital Counseling.
The Fellow Travellers Bereavement, Grief & Loss Site (Popularity: ): Professional bereavement counseling online. Free information on different types of grief, links to free services and free voice-interactivity for mutual support.
Grief Support, Education & Outreach (Popularity: ): Grief counseling, support, and education 501 c3 nonprofit organization in New Jersey. Organization seeks to provide knowledge and care to the bereaved, helping them learn to live again following life-altering loss.
A Door of Hope (Popularity: ): Located in Bear. Offers pregnancy tests, peer counseling, maternity clothing, childbirth instruction, parenting instruction, housing assistance, post-abortion grief counseling, abstinence-based education, and community referrals.
Grief Inc. (Popularity: ): Official home of Darcie, Tony and Alicia Sims, who are internationally recognized public speakers on the topics of grief and grief support.
Grief Coach (Popularity: ): You are not alone if you have lost a loved one. Getting through the stages of grief is a long process and everyone has a unique experience. Let an expert grief coach help you heal.