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Category:  Articles » Arts & Culture » Humor

 

Hate Days Are Weak

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         Views: 2074
2008-09-21 23:42:23     
Article by Gerry McDonnell

Smarter people than me, if such a group actually exist, have struggled to find a solution to the threat of terror. Islamic fundamentalists are often berated, but I have a certain amount of sympathy for their plight: if I couldn't have a bet or a bacon sandwich, I'd probably be suicidal myself.

I don't want to ram my own theories down anyone's throat (if I was to ram anything down somebody's throat, it wouldn't be a theory), but the only way we can move forward as a multicultural society is to embrace the concept of secularism. The only church I would ever enter is the tubby Welsh one, and I'd need a good few ales beforehand to warm the goggles up.

To hate your fellow man because of the way he lives is absurd, but to hate because of the way a person looks is the height of stupidity. The make-up of skin colour is merely a solitary letter out of the 3.1 billion letters of human DNA. You don't have to be Stephen Hawking to realise the idiocy of racism, even Mrs Hawking could work that one out; if she wasn't down the gym working the bags.

The world looked on in disgust as little as 50 years ago in Alabama, when a group of Caucasians chased after anyone with a darker skin. Yet somewhat ironically, the whole of Britain will cheer a repeat in the Grand Prix on Sunday afternoon.

Lewis Hamilton is undoubtedly the natural heir to German cheating-machine Michael Schumacher. Bookmakers are offering odds of 11/4 about Lewis winning at Silverstone, that's a racing certainty.

I was overjoyed to read that the Ferrari had caught up with McLaren, but my happiness subsided as I realised this had nothing to do with football. As a result of Raikkonen's win in Paris, Hamilton can now be backed at 8/13 to win the world championship. It's time to top up.

Tennis is a sport that absolutely refuses to segregate; they'll happily accept any middle-class youngster into their ranks.

This year's Wimbledon has been ruined by the atrocious weather. It's been confirmed that we endured the wettest June for 50 years; only Terry can be happy about that.

I blame the rain for Mauresmo making an early exit from the tournament; you can't produce your best tennis if your balls are all soggy. I've decided to now get on Justine Henin at 4/9, she's a lucky girl.

Sexism is another one of my pet-hates. I honestly believe that a woman can do anything that a man tells her to. I can't see any of the girls winning Big Brother though; if I had to point to a winner from any of the original housemates, I could only raise my finger to Amanda. Liam has to be supported at 7/2 for outright glory; it's one of the best bets ever.

The great thing about cycling is the multinational nature of the sport. A person of any race, religion or sexual orientation can succeed, as long as they're prepared to put in the years of hard graft needed to find a quality chemist.

Riding a bike in treacherous surroundings may sound unappealing, yet you never hear a word of complaint from Peter Andre. My sources tell me that Alejandro Valverde is a live runner in the Tour De France; I'll be getting on at 6/1.

Homophobia remains prevalent in today's society. Personally, I can't see the problem with Prince Edward bringing up a baby. The 4/6 for England winning their one-day rubber-match against the West Indies is incredibly cute.

Smokers are another group who are unfairly discriminated against. I just hope there's no truth in the rumour that a young Glaswegian will be prosecuted for lighting up in an airport. The 10/3 for Chile holding Brazil to a draw in their Copa America quarter-final will help recoup any draconian fine.

Gerry McDonnell dabbles in football odds compilation, journalism and orphan rescue.

http://www.gmfootball.com

Specialized in: Hate Days - Weak
URL: http://www.gmfootball.com
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