Home Add to Favorite Contact Submit  
             23 January, 2021
 

    
Category:  Articles » Home Management » Elder Care

 

Top 5 Basic Elder Care Realities

Popularity:
         Views: 1854
2008-06-26 06:40:07     
Article by Barbara Friesner

I always say that for the best elder care results, talk early and often with your aging loved so you can resolve your elder care issues by choice, not crisis. The earlier you start talking, the easier it is to get plans in place. The better the planning, the easier it will be for them and you in the long term.

Before you begin to have your conversations with your aging loved one, there are some very important basic realities to keep in mind. Remembering these basic realities will help you have conversations with less stress and more success.

Basic Reality #1: THERE ARE NO GUARANTEES

Ideally your aging loved one will come around to your way of thinking but the basic reality is that they may not! However, it's important to try - and to keep trying . . . and then to keep trying some more!

Basic Reality #2: YOUR AGING LOVED ONES HAVE THE RIGHT TO MAKE THEIR OWN DECISIONS

As long as they're capable of making their own decisions, your aging loved ones have the right to make their own decisions. Sometimes you can do little or nothing to help them. Contrary to popular belief, you never become your "parent's parent". Even if you're the caregiver, the best you can hope for is for it to be a collaboration. Remembering and respecting this is essential if you're going to have a workable relationship. Sometimes being patient and just letting it be for a while is your best plan of action.

Basic Reality #3: "YOU DON'T SEE THINGS AS THEY ARE. YOU SEE THINGS AS YOU ARE."

As the Talmud says, "You don't see things as they are. You see things as you are." In other words, it's human nature to think that everyone sees things the way we do - especially our parents who are, after all . . . our parents. But the reality is that we all see things from our own unique perspective through the lens of our own generational, emotional, and personal experiences - even the same situation!

Keep this in mind as you work with your aging loved one. Know that sometimes the solution will be illogical from your point of view. As you approach your aging loved one, remember that it's not about YOU - it has to be about THEM. Therefore, to improve communication, try to see things from their point of view and adapt your communication style and approach to theirs.

Basic Reality #4: EVEN IF YOU CAN'T AGREE, SOMETHING GOOD MAY COME FROM TALKING

Even if you can't agree on what's in their best interest, talking will help open the lines of communication. If nothing comes of the conversation other than clarifying each other's wishes and concerns, it will have been worth it. At least they know you are concerned and it may start them thinking. And if you start early, you can try again later.

Basic Reality #5: KNOW WHEN TO HOLD 'EM, WHEN TO FOLD 'EM, AND WHEN TO WALK AWAY

If your aging loved one is of sound mind then they don't have to do anything. Ideally with your help, they'll want to do what's in their best interest but if they don't want to do something, they don't have to! So sometimes it's better to step back or actually walk away so you can try again another day.

That's why I can't stress enough how important is to START EARLY! Even in a crisis, things don't happen over night.

Specialized in: Assisted Living - Care Manager - Care Giver - Care Seminar - Elderly - Elderly Care - Elder Care - Old Age - Phases - Aging - Aging Parents - Memory Loss - Cognitive - Nursing Home - Coping - Senior - Dementia - Alzheimers - Training - Coaching - Mature - Transition - Counseling - Consulting - Retirement - Support - Seminar - Seminars - Speaker
URL: http://agewiseliving.com
Print article      Bookmark this page
Related Articles 
Senior Safety - 5 Simple Exercises to Lessen Fall Risk (Popularity: ): There is no exercise program available that will be effective it is not followed. The problem with many programs for seniors is that they are too strenuous, too complicated, or there are just too many exercises to remember to do and, therefore, are not continued. Before starting any exercise program it is best to check with your doctor to be sure it is okay.The exercises I am going to teach ...
Financially Supporting Adult Children Without Hurting Yourself (Popularity: ): As Washington unfurls its financial-market rescue, more seniors are looking at having to do private bailouts within their own families.Even before today's economic crisis, many adult children were benefiting from the generosity of their parents who are approaching retirement or already retired. Almost 4 in 10 adults age 60 or older give money to their adult children according to the Pew Research Center.Fluctuating costs of fuel and food, declines and ...
When Your Parents Need Money From You (Popularity: ): Recently a close friend confided that she and her husband were having financial difficulties. Seven months of unemployment for both of them had wiped them out financially and since they both are in their early 60's, it was devastating. But even though they had depleted all of their savings, she was optimistic that within 6 months they would be back on solid ground.She thought the worst was over when she ...
Doesn't Medicaid Exempt $12,000 per Year Gifts? (Popularity: ): Many people are aware that there is some exemption for gifts, but the details are a little hazy. Usually it goes something like this, "I thought there was a $10,000 per person exemption for gifts, so there would not be a Medicaid penalty. No?"First of all, the client is confusing a gift tax exclusion with a Medicaid gift exclusion.Under federal gift tax rules, a "taxable" gift is made whenever one ...
The Very Best Gift You Can Give an Alzheimer’s Patient (Popularity: ): Christmas, birthday, anniversary – all days that call for a gift of some kind. But when it’s a gift for someone with Alzheimer’s disease, what do you do? I struggled with this problem for years as I sought to come up with the perfect gift for my dad, a victim of this cruel disease.Over the course of his twelve-year struggle, I observed one gift that never failed to bring a ...


Related Business 
A Better Choice Elder Care (Popularity: ): A Better Choice Elder Care is a free service that helps families find assisted living for their loved ones. This includes Alzheimer's care, independent living communities and nursing homes. A Better Choice Elder Care is the United States' fastest growing elder care referral network. Contact us today to take advantage of our FREE service.
Elder Care and Senior Care Services (Popularity: ): Elder care, senior care and in home care services for the elderly are available at The ElderCare Channel. Our directory of local senior care services will help you find elder care service providers in any city or state.
Bass Eldercare Resources (Popularity: ): Bass Eldercare Resources makes it easy for you to ensure your elder gets the care they need and the quality of life they deserve while being financially prudent. We provide elder care advice and senior care NYC support to both elders and their elder care givers.
Vermont Nanny and Elder Care Agency (Popularity: ): Babies to Boomers is a Vermont nanny and elder care agency that specializes in the placement of qualified caregivers with families looking for the highest quality care for their loved ones. We are committed to providing safe, loving, and professional in-home caregivers for all your child and elder care needs.
Skilled Nursing Homes and Elder Care (Popularity: ): The Avalon Health Care Group provides the best skilled nursing homes and elder care. Visit us here, and see our high quality elder care service today!
Elder care (Popularity: ): Avenue HomeCare is a home healthcare provider in Charlotte, NC. AHC offers skilled nursing,Home care services,companion/sitter services, pre and post operative care, rehabilitative care,Elder care/Senior care,Geriatric care and live-in services for pediatric and elderly cases in Charlotte, Hickory, and Concord.
Elder-Tot Centers (Popularity: ): Basic guide for the development of a system of intergenerational child care. Includes a mission statement and marketing plan.
Elder Options of Texas (Popularity: ): Directory of assisted living facilities and elder care options.
The Elder and Disability Law Firm, P.A. (Popularity: ): Overland Park attorney William G. Hammond offers elder law services focusing on asset protection and nursing home care.
Dentessence Dental Care (Popularity: ): Dentessence, one of the best dental clinics in noida providing superior dental care. Whether you need advice on prevention of dental disease, or require emergency dental care. Whether you want a replacement for that missing tooth,or want to brighten your smile with tooth whitening before that important function, Whether you want to keep your child teeth in tip-top condition, or align those crooked teeth without braces. wheteher you want to ...