Broken Resolutions For a Healthy New Year

How are the New Year's resolutions going? We well into 2008; are you on track? What are your goals for this year? Lose weight? Exercise more? Make healthier food choices? Get more sleep?

All too often we start the year full of resolve and great intentions. What happens? Our life gets busy and we put resolutions aside for a moment. If we are not careful, they quietly get sidetracked for yet another year. Here are some of the things that can get in your way and strategies to get past them. Let this be the year for health and wellbeing!

How much do you want it?

Is your resolution important to you? Often it seems like it should be important, yet other things seem more immediate. This is when you need to go back and ask yourself why it is important. Doing something because you should just isn't inspiring. Losing weight so that you can lower your risk of diabetes is a valid reason - but it doesn't automatically translate into action. Make it more personal and more direct. Lose weight because you feel better, have more energy and can do fun things more easily (like play with your grandchildren).

How can you tell if your resolution is important enough? Do you dread it or are you eager to get started? Big difference! Things that feel like drudgery have a hard time getting on your calendar. Sometimes it means changing how you think about it. I worked with someone who hated grocery shopping - it was always the last item on her to-do list. This meant she didn't have healthy foods in the house, making it hard to eat well. When she found ways to make grocery shopping more pleasurable, everything else shifted too. Now grocery shopping is a priority; not only is it getting done, but she enjoys meal preparation much more.

People often tell me they need more discipline, yet most of us rebel against it. Discipline, when used as a form of force, creates resistance. We might do it for awhile, but conveniently stop at the first distraction. Wanting something has a whole different flavor. It is compelling. We do it because we value it. And, for those same reasons, we stay with it. Find the way to think about your resolution that makes you want to do it.

What do you expect?

Have you ever exercised or eaten better for a week, and then stopped because nothing happened? Do you expect instant results? Get clear about your expectations: are they realistic? Hidden assumptions are a form of sabotage.

Brenda told me she had a bad week; she had not done her action steps. It turned out that she did all but one. She thought she'd failed because she was holding herself to an impossible standard - perfection. When she focused on what didn't work, her goals seemed impossible and out of reach. When she shifted her focus to her progress, hope stirred. She was able to see that just because something didn't work, didn't automatically make it a failure. In this case it just wasn't the right approach. She was able to shift her expectations: some things work and others need tweaking. Now she can navigate potential glitches with ease. Instead of feeling stuck when it doesn't work, she keeps adjusting until it does.

What are your expectations? Developing a new healthy habit is not like flipping a light switch on. It's a process; you gradually incorporate new habits into your life. It requires time and attention. You know it's a habit when it's just what you do; until then you need to nurture it with encouragement.

What do you tell yourself?

I have a voice inside of my head that always tells me "You can do more!" My voice is not mean, but it does drive me relentlessly. Some inner voices are cruel, saying things like "Your thighs are too big," and "You always fail, you'll fail this time too." Some voices coax us against our better judgment: "You need those cookies" and "You've already blown it, so you might as well eat that too."

What is this inner voice? We all have it. Usually we just respond without evaluating the message. When you stop and pay attention, you may find various voices. There are the supportive voices that are encouraging and wise. Then there are the voices that don't seem very helpful. I've seen people paralyzed by those voices. Once they can see it as chatter and create a little distance, they can question it and choose for themselves. It's empowering.

Listen to your inner voice. Stop automatically assuming that it must be right. Question it. Is it true? What else might be true? If it's telling you to forget that exercise program because "you never stick with them" - put it on mute. Remember all the times in the past that you've exercised. Remind yourself of other positive changes you have been able to implement. Make a plan, and then trust yourself and the process. Don't get shut down by a critical inner voice.

Just do it.

While it helps to work through some of the things that can stop or derail you, at some point you need to just start. Take that first step. It doesn't matter if it is the "right" one; just do it. Having a plan is great. Breaking something into small steps is always a good idea. But at some point stop planning and get started.

I know someone who wants to have every detail worked out before he starts something. It is a form of procrastination, but is a little sneaky because all the planning and preparation makes it seem active. Yet nothing happens. He has learned to start before he feels "ready" - realizing that "ready enough" will never happen.

So, coming back to your New Year's resolution; what is the next step? Fine tune your motivation by finding the compelling reason that makes you want to do it. Check in with your expectations: are they reasonable and will they support you? Don't let a critical inner voice distract you. What small step can you take today to get started? Good luck! I'd love to hear about what works for you!

Kathy Nichols is the Healthy Habits Coach. As a registered dietitian and certified life coach, Kathy helps people who are tired of diets and feeling guilty find a way of eating that is sustainable, healthy and enjoyable.

Website: http://healthyhabitscoach.com