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And Baby Makes - Trouble in Paradise

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2007-01-07 00:14:50     
Article by Vivian Gilbert Zabel

When a couple exchanges vows, they expect the romance to last at least until middle age. They top the love that brought them to the wedding alter with a baby, a combination of him and her. Babies bring a different kind of romance and love to life. Once that bundle of joy is placed in waiting arms, a deep and abiding love blooms and grows.

Does the marriage grow stronger with the addition of this symbol of love? Sometimes, the love and commitment between a couple strengthens unbelievably. However, many times the marriage becomes weaker because a baby puts more pressure on the couple, causes the couple to have less time to spend with each other and on each other. Whoever gets up during the night becomes sleep deprived, cranky, and grumpy. Even if the husband and wife take turns, sleep becomes short supply.

So what can be done to allow a baby to become the tie that binds rather than the burden that breaks a marriage? A few ideas follow that will help:

1. After babies needs are met, be sure to allow time for Momma and Daddy together and separately. Every couple requires times of intimacy and for simple renewing of their relationship: an hour’s time to visit un-interrupted, a dinner alone, an evening or night together - while someone else babysits.

Each parent needs time for renewal, too. Perhaps Mom would like to take a spa-break or just time to read. Dad might like to play a game of golf or watch a ball game. Once each person feels refreshed, he or she is able to add to the relationship with the other, as well as be a better parent.

2. Take advantage of grandparents’ offers to babysit, or Aunt Purnella’s. Not only will parents benefit from time alone or together, but baby will have more love and attention. Too much love isn’t possible.

3. If family members aren’t available for time-out for parents, then find a dependable baby sitter, with the stress on dependable. Paying for a sitter may not be possible often if budgets are tight, but an occasional splurge is more than cost effective for both parents and baby.

Yes, baby will benefit from a more relaxed set of parents who have a strong marriage.

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