There is a tricky balance between being kind and compassionate and not-too-hard-on ourselves and digging deep and forging ahead when that is the only way to get the job done.

There are times when we have to do just that. When if we don't stand up tall and brave we lose. Times when we need to go after what we want with powerful tenacity. Times when we have to face down our fears or do the things we think we cannot do.

Sometimes the things we think we cannot do are personal challenges (like quitting smoking or earning a Black Belt). Sometimes they may require standing up to someone else or placing our needs as a priority over another's.

They always require courage. We don't accomplish the things we think we cannot do by being timid. Taking them on requires bravery--and taking a determined, powerful stance.

Some people are much more comfortable channeling this kind of power on another's behalf. I call it the Mother Bear syndrome. Everyone knows you don't touch a Mother Bear's cubs, and most parents know for sure, that they would do ANYTHING to protect their young.

How are you at being powerful and determined on your own behalf?

At going after what you really really want in a strong and focused way?

Try something. Close your eyes (read this first though!). Take a few deep breaths. Think of something that you really really want that you think you cannot accomplish. It could be anything--a raise, a lower weight, an advanced degree, a stronger relationship . . . anything. It should be something you really want to achieve or accomplish and that you aren't conflicted about--except that you think you cannot do it.

Form a picture in your mind of what it would look like and feel like to achieve that thing. Wait until you can see it and feel it in your mind.

Now here are the important questions:

If you believed it was possible, if you allowed yourself to believe that you could do the thing you think you cannot do, what would you be doing differently?

Can you pinpoint one small change you could make in this direction--today?

If it wasn't you, but the person you love most on the planet who wanted this thing, would you be working harder for it? How would you act or think differently or how would you encourage them to act on their own behalf?

What would it look like to pursue this thing that you pictured with a Mother Bear intensity and in a powerful way? What would it look like to go "all out" in pursuit of this dream? Can you picture it?

What would bring you one inch closer to your goal? Are you willing to take one step now in that direction?

Challenge:

I challenge you to pick something you think you cannot do and set it as a 12 month goal. Put it on your calendar.

What are the first three steps you would need to take to move towards that goal? These shouldn't be leaps--they can be small steps. Set a time-line for completing those three steps and mark them on your calendar. If you can't imagine doing these three things break them down further and schedule those smaller steps. You'll be on your way.

Melissa McCreery, Ph.D. is a Psychologist and Life and Wellness Coach who helps her clients create and live their very best lives. She is also the creator of the Emotional Eating Toolbox (TM), Tools for Taking Control and Moving Beyond Dieting. Subscribe to her free newsletter, Mindspa, at her website:

Copyright 2007 - Melissa McCreery, Ph.D. All Rights Reserved Worldwide. Reprint Rights: You may reprint this article as long as you leave all of the links active, do not edit the article in any way, give author name credit and follow all of the EzineArticles terms of service for Publishers.