DARPA is an agency, which helps with military R and D and thus protecting us from the enemy. They can make sharks swim a certain way or attack a terrorist my night or by day.

But we need another favor to protect our nation, because our Congress has gone on vacation. This time it is the illegal aliens can't you tell, our borders leak like a sieve this problem we must quell.

It is time to employ the birds you see and I know DARPA can do it too, they have already employed the bees. It is time to train migrating birds to dive bomb, let them attack Coyotes who are in the wrong. Our nation's borders are important to keep us free, we must stop those smuggling Illegal Aliens, can't you see!

The illegal aliens litter our land as the smugglers give them a hand. Let's enlist the Constipated birds they can dive bomb the enemy with white turds. This is the plan and that is it, we can spot the culprits covered in bird- _ _ _ _.

If anyone has a better plan lets hear it now, because what we are doing is not working somehow. More border patrol agents we must hire, while many that are remaining are ready to retire.

We have a crisis and need more men, why not hire the birds so we can win. Military research is fun you know, now lets get those birds to cover them in crap and send them back to Mexico.