How To Deal With Angry People.

There are so many snares the enemy will use to entrap us and put us in bondage. Our first thoughts when we hear the word; "snares," might be the big ones that are right in front of us like; alcohol, and excessive drinking, or drugs. We might think of gambling, or lying and stealing. But there is a snare that the enemy uses that, when you are in the middle of it, you still might not see you are ensnared. It is being close friends with, or associating with, someone who gets angry easily.

I tend to lean on the mercy and grace side with people and ignore others in this category. Not ignore them completely, but ignore their weakness of their anger. But through much experience dealing with people who have anger in them, I have found the best thing I can do is to be courteous and love all people, but to those that have a continuing cycle of anger and remorse, I never allow them to be a close friend of mine.

You may say, "Isn't that rather harsh, Kris?" I can understand why you would say that as the Bible does tell us to "love our enemies" (Matthew 5:23). I am not talking about showing love, but embracing and associating with those that have a constant temper and a critical spirit all the time.

The Bible is very clear on what we should do with angry people.

Proverbs 22:4 - 25 (Amplified Bible) "Make no friendships with a man given to anger, and with a wrathful man do not associate, lest you learn his ways and get yourself into a snare."

When I recently was reminded of this passage of scripture, I thought, "Wow, isn't that a little extreme?" But, if we don't protect ourselves from the snares of the enemy and really guard against them, we will fall into the snare of trying to help the angry person, and end up understanding their temper and even agreeing with the angry person. If we do this, we will believe a lie. We will start walking down a road that God never wanted us to walk down in the first place. The enemy is crafty and will use your need to help someone to get you to fall.

The Strongs Hebrew and Greek dictionary gives a definition of the word, "friendship," in the above passage this way: "raw-aw', A primitive root; to tend a flock, that is, pasture it; intransitively to graze (literally or figuratively); generally to rule; by extension to associate with (as a friend): companion, keep company with, feed, use as a friend, make friendship with, herdman, keep [sheep] (-er), pastor, + shearing house, and shepherd." We are to keep no company with, to tend a friendship, eat with, associate with, or tend no one that is always angry. God will take care of that person; your job is to show love, but hold back on being their friend.

Maybe you have someone in your life that falls into this category of being a person of anger. If you are married to someone who is constantly angry, the main thing is to be safe. If you are always afraid of your safety, or your children's safety, this is an indicator that you should do something about it. There are many "safe" houses to go to, or friends you can ask for help. But this article is really for those who have someone in their life who they don't live with, yet are always associating with. Angry people are draining. They will drain your joy. They will drain your patience, not to mention your peace. It is okay to pull away from them as a friend, but still love them and wish the best for them. Really, it is a command in Proverbs to make no friendship with them.

I know of someone in my life, as their leader, who is always angry. They are never satisfied with people. They always find something to complain about and even get down right evil and rude with their actions in order to state their case, or make a point. I've watched this person's anger rise and fall through many cycles, of remorse (not repentance), then putting a fake smile on, and then getting angry again. As of lately their anger and actions have been the worse I've ever seen in them. This person needs deliverance, but they do not see it. Until they are delivered and set free from this bondage in their life, they will continue to go through this cycle. My prayer is that they will see their actions and their way of thinking is getting them no where. They are doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results and it will never happen. I am waiting for the right time to calmly share with them the hope of freedom from this torment, but in the meantime, I do not befriend them.

Let us be people that are easy to get along with. Do you have an anger problem? Do you easily get upset when things don't go your way? Do you expect people to cater to you? Usually there is a root cause for the anger. If you have an anger problem, ask God what is the root of it. This is a hard place to be because you have to be honest with God, and even more challenging, yourself. Once you have asked God to show you the core of your anger, be open to what that still small voice speaks to your heart. When you receive your answer, ask God to heal you, and to change your way of thinking. This is a process, but well worth the change that will come. It might be painful. Are you willing to press in to your pain to find out more about yourself? The Lord will never leave you during this process. He will never leave you ever. So, be comforted that you will be in the arms of a loving God who knows all about you. He formed you. He knows your name.

Here are a few more scriptures about getting angry:

Ecclesiastes 7:9 (Amplified Bible) "Do not be quick in spirit to be angry or vexed, for anger and vexation lodge in the bosom of fools."

James 1:19 & 29 (Amplified Bible) "Understand [this], my beloved brethren. Let every man be quick to hear [a ready listener], slow to speak, slow to take offense and to get angry. For man's anger does not promote the righteousness God [wishes and requires]."

Ephesians 4:31 & 32 (Amplified Bible) "Let all bitterness and indignation and wrath (passion, rage, bad temper) and resentment (anger, animosity) and quarreling (brawling, clamor, contention) and slander (evil-speaking, abusive or blasphemous language) be banished from you, with all malice (spite, ill will, or baseness of any kind). And become useful and helpful and kind to one another, tenderhearted (compassionate, understanding, loving-hearted), forgiving one another [readily and freely], as God in Christ forgave you."

These are just a few verses concerning anger. I am sure if you did a study on the word you would find out more then you could ever imagine. Allow God to show you any anger you might be holding onto. The very thing you hold on to will become a part of you before you know it.

Blessings,
Kris Belfils
www.krisbelfils.com