Anger Management- Lock That Monster Up

Patricia runs a small graphic design company. She employs several designers, illustrators and copy writers. Her office is a beehive of creative activity and often deadlines can mean a hectic atmosphere.

This is a typical right-brain office and when you have so many creative employees, there can be friction between team members. Her employees are highly talented. Sometimes these creative people lose track of time and deadlines. Pat, on the other hand, has a business to run and cannot afford to be late with the end product. Her clients wouldn't stand for that.

But I am surprised she never loses her temper with either her employees or clients both of whom can try her patience. I asked her once what her secret was. Pat seems unfazed by all this but I know she must secretly froth at the mouth. Here's what she told me.

"Marilyn, it is hard to be the boss of creatively charged twenty somethings and if I don't manage it well, I would be close to losing my temper every hour of every day. I find it better to hold my tongue than let go of a valuable employee. I have spent hours training them, refining their skills, and that is too much of an investment to lose. I wait till my anger has passed and then speak calmly to them. Most of the time I am able to get the point across and avert a crisis." Patricia said.

I employ the same strategy myself. Our conversation re-affirmed my belief in not making a decision or delivering criticism when angry. Anger can spoil a good thing - it is a moment of weakness for a business owner and repeated bursts of anger with employees can destroy a good team.

Sometimes your clients or employees will make you angry. The trick is in not dealing with them right away. Take some time to compose yourself, rehearse your case, and then present it to the other party in a calm voice. Invariably, you will come out the winner.

A good strategy is to let the phone call go to voice mail if you think the caller will be telling you bad news or you have just handled a stressful situation and are still upset. Always invest in caller ID!

If you are talking to an employee or client and the conversation is going badly, take a break and think about the situation. Hardly any problem cannot wait a few hours for a solution. Always leave yourself time to think. It is better to be seen as "not decisive" than make a decision you will regret.

Use this strategy when you anticipate bad news or even when you have to deliver a bad news. It is better to wait and think about a problem with clarity in your mind before responding. You can never take your words back or undo an action taken in anger.