Good Listeners are Hard to Find

There is no mystery about successful business intercourse...... Exclusive Attention to the person who is speaking to you, is very important. There is nothing more flattering than that.

Some time ago, I attended a New Years eve party, I was not drinking, as I was the sober driver. A man there, who by chance, had the same role as I, came and sat next to me, we both sat there in silence for ten minutes, not a word spoken. As we sat there on the couch, he happened to mention to his wife in passing, that he felt a little jet lagged, as he had just arrived back from overseas.

He remarked about his trip to the Middle East, I exclaimed, "How interesting!" "I have been to several countries myself, but I have never been there". "Tell me, what on earth made you go over there?"

With that one question, I kept him talking for forty minutes, I learnt his name, about his life, family, friends, and eventually he spoke of his career, as an audio engineer, and the ins and outs of what I could only guess, was a job, that needed competency, and intelligence.

I knew nothing of what He spoke of, but I was intrigued, and I was literally sitting on the edge of my seat, listening to him speak passionately, about his job, and his travels. He never asked me, where I had been, or what I had seen. All he wanted was an interested listener, so he could expand his ego and tell about where he had been. You may ask, is that unusual? No! Many people are like that.

Lincoln wrote a letter to a very good friend, asking him to come to Washington, as Lincoln had problems. His friend arrived, and Lincoln talked for hours, over the proclamation of the freeing of slaves. He went through the arguments for and against such a move, and after he had finished, he shock the hand of his friend and sent him home, without even asking for his opinion.

"Lincoln had done all the talking himself, which seemed to clarify his mind, he seemed to feel easier after the talk, he did not want any advice, just a sympathetic listener to whom he could unburden himself",his friend said. If you aspire to be a good conversationalist, be an attentive listener. To be interesting, be interested. Ask questions that other persons would enjoy answering. Encourage them to talk about themselves,and their accomplishments.

Remember that people you are talking to are a hundred times more interested in themselves, and their wants and problems, than they are in you and your problems. A persons toothache means more to that person than a famine in China that kills millions. Or a boil on the bum interests one, more than forty earthquakes in Africa. Think of that the next time you start a conversation.

Principle #3

"Be a good a listener. Encourage others to talk about themselves and their interest." Showing a genuine interest in other people can be very therapeutic for the Listener and the receiver.

Next Issue: "Begin with praise and honest appreciation."

Article written by Patric Kavetoa of Global Work at Home Online Business Solutions. Patric has helped thousands of people succeed online,with Free resources, articles and ebooks. A passionate author,he has written several articles,on improving one's life and business skills.