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2006-06-21 21:03:55
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Article by Kevin Urban |
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Christian dating advice runs the gamut from “don’t date at all,” to “you can date anyone and change them if you like them.” Neither of these is practical in today’s world. If you don’t ever date, you’re going to have a hard time establishing a more significant relationship, and trying to change or convert someone is a recipe for disaster. Today’s Christian dating, advice from experts aside, can be successful and enjoyable if you keep a few things in mind.
Let People Know You are Open to Dating
While you may have heard horror stories about blind dates, a surprising number of them are successful. After all, who better to help you find a potential date than Christian friends?
Don’t Preach
When you do go on a date, be up front about your beliefs without preaching. This isn’t the time to convert an unbeliever, but it is the time to make it clear that the Lord is central to your life. If he or she respects this and shares this passion for God, you’re off to a great start.
Don’t Date an Unbeliever
Dating should, of course, always be enjoyable, but don’t compromise just to have somebody to do something with on a Saturday night. If you’re not sure where someone stands on their faith, you can certainly go out a few times and explore the issues. If it’s clear the person isn’t an active Christian, move on. Thank him or her for a wonderful time and reassure them that you want to remain friends, but stand firm that any serious relationship must be God-centered first and foremost.
Try Christian Dating Sites
If you are considering online dating, check out several sites that advertise that they are for Christians. Many of these even allow you to narrow your search by denomination so that you can find someone whose doctrinal beliefs and practices will be in tune with yours. These sites also often have single Christian dating advice of their own that can be helpful.
Avoid Temptation
As a Christian, you know that giving into lust or sexual intimacy is wrong. Dating can make resisting temptation difficult, especially when you’re physically attracted to someone. Don’t give yourself the opportunity to confuse affection or love with lust. Date in public places such as restaurants, museums, movies, etc. If you’ve dated a few times, invite him or her to join you in relaxing with family or friends – group activities are a great way to enjoy each other’s company while keeping temptation to a minimum. Remember this Christian dating advice: a relationship should be about love and respect, not lust.
Be Honest with Yourself
Is the person you’re dating someone you would be proud to take to your church and introduce to your family? If something about him or her makes you feel like you would need to defend them against criticism by those who love you the most, take heed! Those closest to you can see sometimes see more clearly than you do because attraction doesn’t cloud their vision.
About Committing Yourself
Proverbs 4:23 says, “Guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life.” There is no better rule for dating than this Old Testament admonishment. And consider this Christian dating advice: commitment doesn’t happen after two or three dates. Keep your innermost secrets until you have become truly close emotionally and spiritually. Latching onto someone too soon means you could get hurt – especially if you begin to abandon your commitment to Christ in order to make that other person happy.
Pray for Guidance
Opening your heart to God and asking His counsel and guidance will point you in the right direction. Sometimes just refocusing through prayer will lead you to a better understanding of where your dating relationship is going and if it is right for you.
If you keep the above Christian dating advice in mind, you’ll not only have the opportunity to meet and date other Christians, you are more likely to end up in a strong, Godly marriage.
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