Living Will - Why you Need One

A Living Will, also known as a Healthcare Directive or Advanced Health Care Directive, is a legal document used to specify the healthcare or life support you would like to receive under certain conditions. If you are admitted to the hospital you will probably be asked if you have a living will. It is different from a Last Will and Testament, and does not take the place of one.

Because humans fear death, we try to prevent our own demise even when it is inevitable—even when it is in the soul’s best interest to leave this earth plane. With life saving equipment and mechanical life support, it is possible to thwart the natural process of death and suspend life. Few people realize that this process may actually tether a spirit to the body and keep the loved one’s soul from moving on to the next adventure in the Afterlife.

I completed my book about death and dying, and was going to print about the time the media began pumping out news regarding the passing of Pope John Paul II and Terri Schiavo’s suffering. The Pope requested to not be placed on life support, while Terri’s family refused to allow her to be taken off. Both their stories touched a place in my heart because I’ve experienced similar circumstances first-hand.

My grandfather refused life support or measures to resuscitate when he was dying of emphysema. While he struggled to breathe, we knew there was nothing his doctor could do to give him back his health. He felt his spirit was ready to depart, so my family honored his wishes and stood by him as he drew his last breath.

Like Terri, my uncle’s soul was a hospital hostage—his torture lasting for one year. While his body was on life support, his spirit came to me, asking for my assistance to help our family understand that he wanted to leave the earth plane. The healthcare directive he had in place allowed his wife and doctor to make medical decisions regarding resuscitation and life support, so there was legally nothing I could do. Besides, how could I tell my aunt that I had talked to my uncle’s spirit and that he wanted to leave? How could I tell her that he had changed his mind about his code status and wanted to be taken off life support? His final days were spent in coma and his spirit again came to me—this time to ask me to sing and play a particular song for his funeral. I agreed and wished him well in the Afterlife. Fortunately, on the fifth day of his coma, my aunt finally allowed him to be unplugged from life support. I was not surprised when I got the call and was told that my aunt wanted me to provide music for the ceremony. I did not know my uncle well enough to know his tastes in music, so I was surprised when the song my aunt asked me to use was the same one my uncle had given me in my meditation. I don’t blame my aunt for her decision; she was simply exercising her legal right provided by my uncle’s living will. She was not ready to let him go. I’m not sure if she could have pulled the plug before the fifth day or not, but this decision is something she should not have been burdened with. No one else wants to decide the fate of another human being, especially someone they love! My uncle’s preference not to be on life support for more than “X” number of days could have been clearly stated in his living will.

While life support is a wonderful tool for helping someone remain alive while the body heals enough to return to a meaningful life, the practice of keeping people artificially alive is overused and many doctors are afraid to tell the patient’s family that there is nothing more that medical science can do for their loved one. Many doctors are simply not trained to assist families with the emotional and legal issues about the dying process. Therefore, I encourage you to make a living will NOW and ask someone to facilitate who is able to carry out your desires even under emotional pressure. This will help you avoid being put through the misery (yes, it is painful to be on a ventilator!) of being on life support if your wishes are otherwise. It will also remove the burden of choice from family members who are grieving and possibly emotionally unable to make decisions.

It’s time to take responsibility for your end of life choices. On my website, there is a FREE pdf of a Healthcare Directive (living will) that may be printed, signed, witnessed, and used to legally establish your desires regarding life-sustaining procedures and end of life decisions.